i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I touched a dick in church today
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