it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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