I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize