i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The uberlube is also flammable
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
