I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
