im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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