you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
