You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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