just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize