nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
