my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
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I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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