Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
