If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
