so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
