I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
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You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
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you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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