4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
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