and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
