2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
