Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
