i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
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our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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