Sry I called you an 8
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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