I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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