I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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