sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
