Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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