I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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