Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
