I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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