if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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