so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
