is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
40s are totally the cure
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
