i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize