; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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