Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
