How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
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Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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