And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
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hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
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No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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