he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
