idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
