you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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