Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
