just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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