If i could tip my vagina, i would.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
