fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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