If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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