that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
