After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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