Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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