I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize