The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Found the puke drawer
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
