Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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