Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
