You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
