The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
