and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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