im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
